Thursday 24 November 2011

Attack!

All has been quiet on the western front for a while. The reason comes in the form of a gaggle of 10 or so "chavs" who viciously attacked just over half of Blue Screen at the beginning of October.

The resultant injuries included (but were not limited to) an egg shaped lump on Merchandise man (and Shove it Video Star) Jeremy's head, six stiches in Steve's face and a broken collar bone for Paul (putting him out of bass playing action for a couple of months, but not limiting his ability to play fantasy RPG computer games).

I feel at this point it is important to emphasise that this attack was entirely unprovoked. There were not even any words of warning or goading uttered by the assailants. They just skipped straight to the violence (insert your own comparison joke about the U.S. and U.K. starting wars involving oil).

One of the very first exchanges involved Jeremy being punched in the head by (presumably) the ring leader; a man in his late 30s early 40s. Quite what a chap of this age was doing "hanging out" with a group of teenagers is questionable. Presumably he merely had some time to kill between queueing for his dole cheque and beating his pregnant girlfriend.

Upon receiving the blow (snigger), Jeremy proceeded to demonstrate his speed and agility and swiftly "cheesed it". It's clear to see which way his "flight or fight" response swings.

Many of the gang were armed with empty bottles. Paul had recently started taking Ju-Jitsu self defence classes and just that week had been studying the art of defending oneself from assault with a bottle. However, being in the early stages of the martial art, they had only practiced fending off attack from a right handed individual. Of course, the young man who eventually thumped Paul in the head with a bottle was left handed.

Various other cuts, bumps and bruises were sustained as you might imagine. The resultant swelling in Steve's cheeks, coupled with the lumps on his forehead left him looking like a cross between the Elephant Man and Marlon Brando's Godfather.

The police say that the CCTV in the area is "too dark" to be used. After 200,000 years of homo-sapiens inhabiting this planet, you'd have thought we might have come to deal better with the event that happens at the end of every day in which it gets dark. They also report that the bottle they took for fingerprinting does not present strong enough evidence. Granted I know less about forensic science than I do about night-time, so I shall restrain my frustration on this matter.

Therefore, it seems that justice is unlikely to be done. Bloody marvellous. If I were a multi-millionaire I would consider going to Asia for a while to train to become a vigilante. However, I'm not. I'm just a schmuck who ain't very good at fighting.

What have we all learned from this experience? The answer is clear; unless you're on at least week eight of Ju-Jitsu training, never trust anyone who's left-handed.

Wednesday 23 November 2011

I liked it better when everything was made of wood and happiness

As a band called "The Blue Screen of Death", this should be expected, but I just wanted to confirm that all technology is shit and computers are bastards. Double bastards.

Friday 26 August 2011

I have decided that the next time we play badly at a gig I shall describe our performance as "sloppier than artificial insemination".

Tuesday 14 June 2011

Forthcoming video treats!

Hello hello how are you?

As previously mentioned, we recently finished filming on our first ever music video (shot and directed by the excellent Chris Fergusson and Andy Marsh (http://www.andyjmarsh.com/ AND http://www.andyvideo.co.uk/) who do lots of wonderful work which you should view in detail and then tell all your friends about.

In order to whet your appetite and wet your special places, here are some teaser photographs from the film set. Legally and morally dubious prizes for anyone who can guess what the video is all about (not including those who already know!)






Look out for upcoming Southampton shows guys, and we will let you know as soon as the video is ready to pleasure your eyes!

BSOD

Wednesday 11 May 2011

Pierce is TAFFIN

Here are some stills from the trailer of Taffin, a Pierce Brosnan classic.

They may, or may not be in the correct order.













Ta A&J

Monday 18 April 2011

AL-BUM artwork

We are putting the finishing touches to the latest 3 tracks to come from deep within Widdecombe's womb*. They will be with you very shortly.

This led to discussions about a title for this triptych terror, which led to ridiculous internet searches for bad album covers, which led to this...



"Eulenspygel 2" made Shogun (drummer) laugh so much that he actually felt human again.

We can only hope that the artwork for our impending release can match the standard set here.

*Widdecombe is the name of our studio. We are not forcibly removing music from the Uterus of former MP Ann Widdecombe. Yet.

Friday 15 April 2011

Eerie Indiana

What a show!

I fear BSOD HQ might well fit in here...
Part one:


Part two:


Part three:

Tuesday 5 April 2011

Simon, Garfunkel and Thor

Simon and Garfunkel originally tried to add some extra beef to their act with a hammer-wielding Norse God Thor.


Who'd have Thort it?

Thor's sons did this though:


On another note, BSOD in London tonight? Oui?

Sunday 3 April 2011

Crotch request...

If anyone has any submissions for the next Rusty Crotch please email them to info(at)thebluescreenofdeath.co.uk

Steve has said he'll get his favourite this year tattooed on his person (please note he calls his penis 'his person').

In other news Kyuss definitely lives:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIV2zvhre5U

Friday 25 February 2011

Snaps (CD's a-coming, honest gruv)

Wired (and a mess)
Defying space and time - only Billy


Ultra drums

Film error or anti gravity?

Mega boots

Handy

Saturday 12 February 2011

Blue Screen's contribution to the scientific study of the effects of gravity

Just a quick note to advise anyone who is planning to attend our Hobbit gig and subsequent after-party of the kind of antics which tend to occur at such occasions.

Please witness (strong language and drunken camerawork throughout):


Furry love,

The Blue Screen Of Death

Thursday 3 February 2011

Getting action

The plan, chaps, is to get The Blue Screen of Death on this soundtrack (stick with it - it is immense).

Wednesday 2 February 2011

New Year's Resolutions

In a desperate and ill-advised bid to deny my impending alcoholism; I tried to give up drinking for a while at the start of the year.  I have come to the conclusion that:
no booze  =  nob ooze.

Tuesday 1 February 2011

Welcome to the Blog Screen of Death (better name pending)

Hello World, and welcome to our shiny new weblog or 'blog'.

Here we, prominent rock band The Blue Screen Of Death will be sharing words, sentences, photos, videos and various other treats which we don't think we could trick you into paying money for.

Thanks to everyone who has viewed and commented on the Michael Winner song below; please show it to any friends and family who aren't of too nervous a disposition as we are keen to bring laughs to as many people as possible.

Just to clarify a couple of things:

1) The 'Maddie' referred to in the penultimate line of the song is obviously Maddie Magellan, erstwhile sidekick of TV detective Jonathan Creek, whose replacement by first Nadia Sawalha's and more recently Sheridan Smith's characters is a source of constant misery to us all.

2) The subtitle of the song is 'Little Death Wish' for the following self-satisfied reasons:

Michael Winner's most famous film is the masterpiece of subtle pathos Death Wish.

There is a well-known French expression 'la petite mort' (which literally translates as 'the little death') which is used to describe post-orgasmic melancholy.

Choosing to record such a tasteless song, go to the efforts we went to to record that video and then release and publicise it on the same day as our new EP suggests at least a little bit of a career death wish.

Stay tuned for more exciting news / irreverent nonsense very soon.

BSOD.

Saturday 29 January 2011

Shit is kicking off right here, right now.

Ladies and Gents,

The new website is up and running!

www.thebluescreenofdeath.co.uk

There are lots of links to shiny and exciting things that are going on.

Be sure to follow the link to our bandcamp site, where you can hear our brand spanking new album for free, and/or buy it if you fancy!

Here is a video just for you...



If you liked that video; go to www.myspace.com/thebluescreenofdeath for another one!